The Unconscious and Decision Making: How Desires Influence Choices

11 April 2025

Ever wondered why you make certain choices without even thinking? Like why you always grab that chocolate bar at the checkout or why you can't resist binge-watching one more episode even though you have work in the morning? The truth is, a lot of our decisions aren’t as rational as we like to believe. Instead, they’re heavily influenced by our unconscious mind.

Our hidden desires—often lurking beneath the surface—play a massive role in shaping our choices, sometimes leading us down paths we never consciously intended to take. Let’s dive into how the unconscious mind and our desires shape the choices we make every day.

The Power of the Unconscious Mind

Think of your mind as an iceberg. The conscious mind is just the tip—the small part that you can see and control. But beneath the surface lies the vast, powerful unconscious mind, driving thoughts, motivations, and decisions without us even realizing it. Psychologists believe that up to 95% of our thoughts and behaviors are influenced by the unconscious. Shocking, right?

The unconscious mind is shaped by past experiences, emotions, and deep-seated desires. These hidden influences guide our choices without us even being aware of them. Ever had a “gut feeling” about something? That’s your unconscious speaking to you!

How Desires Shape Our Choices

Desires—whether for comfort, success, love, or pleasure—are powerful motivators. But here’s the twist: we don’t always recognize them. Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, and this instinct often overrides logical thinking.

Let’s break it down into different types of desires and how they affect decision-making.

1. The Desire for Comfort and Security

Humans crave stability. It’s why we choose familiar restaurants over trying something new, or why we stay in jobs and relationships that don’t truly fulfill us—because it feels safe.

Our unconscious mind prioritizes comfort, even if it means sacrificing potential growth. Ever heard the phrase "better the devil you know than the devil you don’t"? That’s your unconscious pulling the strings.

Example:

You might say you want to change careers, but deep down, the fear of uncertainty stops you. So, you keep putting it off, convincing yourself that “now’s not the right time.” In reality, your unconscious is clinging to security.

2. The Desire for Instant Gratification

Why do we abandon long-term goals for short-term pleasure? Blame it on the unconscious. Our brains are wired to seek immediate rewards, even at the expense of future benefits.

Example:

Let’s say you’re trying to save money, but every time you see a sale, you just can’t resist. You justify it by thinking, “It’s such a great deal—I’d be stupid not to buy it!” But in reality, your unconscious desire for immediate gratification is calling the shots.

This is why dieting, saving money, or studying for an exam can feel like an uphill battle. The unconscious couldn’t care less about long-term benefits—it wants pleasure now.

3. The Influence of Social Desires

Humans are social creatures. We crave approval, belonging, and validation. Many of our decisions are shaped by the unconscious desire to fit in or be accepted.

Ever bought something just because everyone else has it? Or posted on social media just to get likes? That’s not always a conscious choice—it’s your unconscious need for social validation kicking in.

Example:

You say you bought that expensive brand-name bag because you "love the quality," but deep down, your unconscious might just want to project status and fit in with a certain crowd.

The Role of Emotional Triggers

Emotions are another key player in unconscious decision-making. Fear, love, anger, and even nostalgia all influence our choices. Marketers know this all too well—they use emotional triggers to make us buy things without second-guessing.

Example:

Why do we associate certain brands with happiness or nostalgia? Think of Coca-Cola’s holiday commercials. They don’t just sell a drink—they sell a feeling. Your unconscious picks up on these emotional cues, leading you to choose Coke over other sodas without even realizing why.

The Battle Between Logic and Desire

We all like to believe we’re rational beings, weighing pros and cons before making decisions. But often, that’s just an illusion. The unconscious mind usually makes a decision first, and then the conscious mind comes up with a logical reason to justify it.

It’s like when you buy an expensive gadget on impulse and then tell yourself, “Well, I needed an upgrade anyway.” Sound familiar? That’s cognitive dissonance at play—your mind trying to balance emotional desire with rational thought.

Can We Outsmart Our Unconscious?

While we can’t completely override our unconscious mind (it’s always working in the background), we can become more aware of its influence and make more intentional choices.

1. Practice Mindfulness

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings before making a decision. Ask yourself, “Is this choice truly mine, or is it influenced by unconscious desires?”

2. Identify Emotional Triggers

Recognize patterns in your behavior. If you always shop when you’re stressed, or eat junk food when you’re sad, that’s your unconscious taking control. Once you’re aware of these triggers, you can make conscious efforts to redirect your decisions.

3. Delay Instant Decisions

The unconscious thrives on impulse. By giving yourself time before making a choice—whether it’s a purchase, a text response, or a major life decision—you allow the rational mind to step in and reevaluate.

4. Set Long-Term Goals

When you have clear, meaningful goals, it becomes easier to resist short-term urges. Writing them down and reminding yourself of why they matter helps counteract unconscious influences.

Final Thoughts

Our unconscious mind is like a backstage director, silently shaping our actions and decisions. Whether it’s choosing what to eat, what to buy, or even who to love, hidden desires play a bigger role than we realize.

But here’s the good news: just because our unconscious influences us doesn’t mean we’re powerless. By becoming more aware of how and why we make choices, we can take back control—steering our lives in the direction we truly want, instead of being guided by hidden desires.

So, next time you find yourself making an impulsive decision, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: *Is this really what I want? Or is my unconscious running the show?