The Pursuit of Happiness: Is It a Myth or a Reality?

23 July 2025

Let’s face it—happiness is the Beyoncé of emotions. Everyone wants it, chases it, sings about it in pop songs… but no one really knows how to catch it or what to do with it once they have it. You might even feel like happiness is playing an elaborate game of hide-and-seek, only it’s really good at hiding.

So here we are, asking the million-dollar question: Is the pursuit of happiness a legit life goal, or are we all just running in hamster wheels powered by positive affirmations and overpriced lattes?

Grab your coffee (or your emotional support snack), and let’s dive headfirst into the squishy, mysterious topic of happiness.

What Even Is Happiness, Anyway?

Before we decide if it’s mythical like Bigfoot or as real as Monday mornings, let’s define happiness. Fair warning: psychologists, monks, and your grandma all have different answers.

Some say it’s pleasure—like when you bite into a warm cookie. Others argue it’s contentment—like when you’re curled up in your blanket burrito after surviving a long workday. And then, of course, there’s the smug version: "eudaimonia" (thanks, Aristotle)—which is all about meaning, purpose, and being your best self. (Cue the inspirational music.)

Science likes to define happiness with terms like subjective well-being, life satisfaction, and positive affect. But for the rest of us? It’s basically that fuzzy, butterflies-in-your-belly feeling that life doesn’t totally suck today.

The Happiness Industrial Complex

If happiness were a product, it’d definitely have a brand deal by now.

Seriously, if you’ve ever been on Instagram for five seconds, you’ve probably seen someone selling "the secret to happiness" through meditation apps, self-help books, yoga pants that cost more than rent, green smoothies, or manifestation TikToks.

But here’s the plot twist: this constant chasing after happiness might actually be making us more miserable. Why? Because trying to be happy All. The. Time. is exhausting. Like, emotionally running-on-three-hours-of-sleep-while-holding-back-tears-on-a-Zoom-call kind of exhausting.

It turns out, when you're obsessed with being happy, you can end up feeling worse when you're not happy—and that’s one cruel paradox.

Is Happiness Actually Chasable?

Imagine happiness is a cat.

If you chase it, it might bolt under the couch or give you that “stop embarrassing yourself” look. But if you’re just chilling on the sofa, watching Netflix and minding your own business, suddenly it might curl up in your lap like, “Hey.” 🐱

This is what some psychologists lovingly call the "Happiness Paradox." The more you chase joy, the more it slips away. It's like trying to hold sand—you grip too tightly, and poof, it’s gone. But gently let it rest in your palm? Voilà.

So, maybe happiness isn’t something we chase, but something we attract by not being chronically miserable. Intriguing, right?

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of... What Now?

Blame the Founding Fathers or the self-help section of your local bookstore, but somewhere along the way, we got this idea that being happy is not just the goal—it's our birthright.

Now don’t get me wrong, being happy is great. But expecting to be ecstatic all day every day is like expecting your houseplants to water themselves and text you affirmations. Life doesn’t work that way. And honestly, your houseplants are judging you right now.

Life includes unhappiness, too. Stress, disappointment, failure, losing your favorite sock in the laundry—it all builds character (or so we tell ourselves while crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s).

The Science Behind Your Smiles

Okay, so what does science say? Is happiness real or just a clever marketing campaign designed by chocolate companies and therapy apps?

Turns out, there's some good news: brain scans, questionnaires, and years of research suggest that yes, happiness is a real experience. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin—they’re the chemical cocktail that turns your brain into a mini party when things go well.

But here's the kicker: only about 50% of your happiness is genetic. So if your default mood is somewhere between “meh” and “leave me alone,” blame your ancestors. 🧬

About 10% depends on your life circumstances (money, weather, whether or not you have a neighbor who owns a tuba). And a whopping 40% is under your control—your thoughts, habits, actions.

So no, happiness isn’t a unicorn. But it’s not entirely in your control either. It's more like a moody roommate. You can influence it, feed it snacks, but sometimes it'll ignore you for days just because.

The Real Myth? Constant Happiness.

Here's where things get spicy.

The biggest myth isn’t that happiness exists—it’s that we’re supposed to be happy all the time. Spoiler alert: no one is. Even Oprah probably has days where she just wants to throw her phone into a ditch and live in the woods.

Emotions are like weather. Sometimes it’s sunny, and sometimes it's a full-blown thunderstorm of feelings. You don’t control the forecast, but you do choose whether to dance in the rain or curl up and wait it out.

Trying to maintain constant happiness is like trying to hold a yoga pose while being chased by bees. It's not just unrealistic, it’s a recipe for falling flat on your face.

Chasing Meaning Instead of Happiness

So if chasing happiness is a losing game, what should we be running after?

Well, grab your metaphorical running shoes, because studies show that people who chase meaning over happiness often end up happier anyway.

I know—it’s like the universe is trolling us.

Instead of aiming to constantly feel good, focus on doing stuff that matters to you. Help a friend move (even if you pretend to have "back issues"). Volunteer. Follow your passions. Raise a garden or a goldfish. Basically, engage in life—even the messy parts.

It’s the goofy, weird, difficult stuff that creates depth. And guess what? That depth is where happiness likes to hang out, sipping tea and getting existential.

The Role of Gratitude and Mindfulness (Yes, Really)

Okay, I’ll admit this next part sounds suspiciously like it came from a Pinterest board, but hang with me.

Practicing gratitude and mindfulness actually works. And no, that doesn't mean you need to journal in a field of sunflowers wearing a flowy dress (though if you do, send pics).

Gratitude rewires your brain to notice the good stuff—like finally finding a parking spot near the entrance or when your coffee tastes just right.

Mindfulness helps you stay present instead of doom-scrolling your way into anxiety. It's about being here, now, even if “here” involves spilled cereal and Wi-Fi issues.

These practices don’t guarantee bliss, but they raise your baseline. Happiness isn’t about removing all discomfort—it’s about learning to be okay with the chaos.

Social Media: The Happiness Mirage

Can we talk about Instagram for a second?

It’s basically a highlight reel of other people’s lives. You see the beach vacations, cute pets, and fits-of-the-day, but not the credit card debt, pet poop, or emotional breakdowns over mismatched socks.

This curated world makes you feel like everyone else is living in a Disney movie while you’re stuck in an indie drama with questionable lighting.

Truth bomb: comparison is the thief of joy. So if you want a better shot at happiness? Log out for a bit. Real life may be messy, but at least it’s authentic. And probably includes snacks.

So… Is It a Myth or a Reality?

Drumroll, please…

Happiness is real. But the way we go about it? Sometimes very myth-like.

It’s not found in a new car, perfect abs, or mastering the latest TikTok dance (although that last one might help). It’s not a destination, it’s a fleeting moment, a state of being, a dopamine-fueled cameo. It’s not about always feeling good—it’s about feeling alive.

So instead of chasing happiness like a caffeinated squirrel, maybe just... notice it when it’s here. Enjoy the laugh, the hug, the Friday afternoon when you sneak out of work a little early.

Happiness isn’t one big moment. It’s a bunch of tiny ones, strung together like fairy lights, making the darkness a bit more bearable.

Final Thoughts (And Probably More Coffee)

At the end of the day, the pursuit of happiness isn’t pointless—it’s just misunderstood. You're not failing if you're not happy all the time. You're just human. And frankly, you're doing great.

So go ahead, feel your feelings. Cry during commercials. Laugh at memes at 2am. Eat the cookie. Hug your cat. Be exactly where you are without apologizing for it.

Because happiness isn’t always something you find. Sometimes, it finds you—usually when you’ve stopped looking.